Funny that I would entitle this part of my journal as such. Very little leads me to believe that any of us are truly sane. Not anymore anyway, and definitely not to the degree that many consider sanity. No, I fear each of us is plauged with some form of mental problems or another. Even though I tend to be the calmer of the remnant, I too suffer through lapses in judgement. Which, curiously enough, usually come and go with those who are present around me from time to time.
Of course, I doubt that it is something many need to concern themselves with. Though my powers are great, I merely hinder others actions, with Spite granted, but…I’m no where near as dangerous to my environs as Shailen has or can be. That woman, Princess or not, must learn to control her temper. Whatever secrets she caries within her small frame are far beyond I think anyone to try and find out. Mostly for the fact that she usually hides behind her mock stupidity and senseless tongue. Honestly, how one woman can bring so many men to their knees, whether in fear or preparing to leap at her throat I do not know. There are days when I cannot stand the mere thought of her, and there are others that I’m deeply grateful for her presence.
Again though I cannot help but wonder at her sanity, or lack there of. Her life previously in Orr was one of great priviledge. The youngest daughter of our King, and the only one of his children to be taught the Elementalist ways, nearly everything was handed to her on a golden platter. Groomed as she was for her inate abilities to control the elements, there are times I wondered if for that reason they raised her to be such a rotten brat at times. A fact that she seems well aware of at times, since she seems to try to use it when she knows it will work to her advantage. And when the situation demands for a more, civilized behavior, she is quick to change her persona to that of what comes tantatmount to a regal queen. I know those who have only seen certain sides of her of, the main side in any case, would laugh at the idea of Shailen ever behaving more then some bawdy tavern man. But I swear on Grenth’s name, there has been several sightings of a controlled, collected and even noble Shailen.
One such occassion that never ceases to come to my mind, took place shortly after the fall of Orr. Those of us who survived the disaster had begun to assemble in Lion’s Arch, taking up residence in some of the surrounding villages. We were a shattered bunch during those times. Nothing seemed to take the pain and loss from our hearts. Even the most forthright of our Monk began to sink into the depths of depression and drunkeness. Fights would break out with the slightest breath amongst us. Fearing a complete loss of all that was left of her ruined Kingdom, Shailen called for a gathering of the remnant along the shores of Watchtower Coast.
Most of the remnant did not heed her call, prefering to let themselves rot away where they lay. But those that did were all amazed when we found her. She stood tall and erect above the beach on a small overhang of rock staring out at the cool waters. When she finally turned around to see those of us who had gathered…not even a dozen. Her face took on a saddness I had never seen in her eyes before. But it lasted for only a moment before her emotion vanished and she stared down at us with a compassion and pride so different from herself that I hardly recognized her. She was Queen at that moment, her presence spoke it, her words told it to our ears.
Shailen began to speak of giving us hope. It was time for us to release ourselves from the shackles our grief had given us. No, we were not to forget our past…but we were not to forsake any future we were to have in this world. Why should the mistakes of some condemn all the rest? Why would the now increasing prejudice against what remained of our people, be justified in the way we would spend the rest of our lives? It was time we took charge of the powers we had in our control to try and change the way the world was shaping around us. She had found an Alliance of Guilds, the Elite Empire, that was making moves to better the world by helping those, who like us, were feeling as though the world had given up on. We were to become Sobanii. A term from our heritage, from our past, something that had helped shape Orr into the wonderous place it had been. And now we were to be the Vanguard of bringing that same honor back to a breaking world.
The stunned silence lasted only a moment before the roar from among those gathered rose to the heavens. If ever there was a time when I felt as though the Gods themselves stood amongst men, it was then. We had their blessing and approval, that I knew then and am just as sure now. We were the Sobanii Vanguard, prepared to let history hear our victory cry.
Excerpt from the journal of Seren.
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